Haste the day

Most people that know me already know I love writing since I suck at explaining things when I talk. I wanted to write earlier, but I had a visit from my therapist and I barely got any sleep last night. I went to bed late because the day before I did the same thing. My sleep pattern got a bit messed up but I wasn’t expecting to have such a horrible experience. As soon as i start dreaming, I feel like someone grabs me by the hand and throws me to the other side of the room. It was a mix of sleep paralysis and a visit from my succubus. I went back to bed and the next thing I know I’m floating and I hit my head against the roof, I fall down and I dream something else. I don’t remember right now the detailed content of my nightmare, but I did at one point. It was basically a recompilation of everything that is happening to me but doubled. I had mental problems; I had problems at school, at home and with friends. Everything was overwhelming and it felt real. All my fears came together in a dark fest located inside my brain. I woke up crying and the side of my head hurt a lot. I kept thinking how hard it is for me to be sane. I kept repeating myself: don’t go crazy, please. I never realised how my mind can play tricks of me and I also finally realised the only person i should really be scared of is myself. I’m seeing a different side of me, a really dark one that has been blocked my whole life, I’m scared but at the same time I’m happy I keep challenging myself to go through this. I don’t know myself, what I’m able to achieve and what my mind can do to me. After all it’s all in our heads, so might as well deal with it and learn how to control it.